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Beatus"Nova Derivativa Verba Latina, Pars Sexagesima Septima"
"New Latin Derivatives, Part Sixty-Seven"
Beatus"Creatio Verborum Latinorum ex Aliis Verbis Latinis"
"The Creation of Latin Verbs from Other Latin Verbs"
Valdissime Excitatissimus"Excellentissimum Poema de Cephalopodimissa!"
"A Most Excellent Poem about Cephalopodmas!"
It was Cephalopodmas, and all through the blogs
Not a writer was stirring—all sleeping like logs.
Each blogosphere-dweller, from Orac to PZ
Was all bundled up and just taking it easy.
Their prone, sleeping forms, that might well have been granite
Slept through the most wonderful tale on the planet!
For all ‘cross the globe, from the oceans and seas,
All the cephalopods, just as nice as you please,
Took a break from their lurking in kelps and in corals
To visit the houses of people with morals.
(Ironic, you think? If they hadn’t been sleeping,
The bloggers would be so much happier peeping,
And witnessing all of this marvelous night.
Well, now that I write of it… next year, they might.)
But how can a creature that’s mainly pelagic
Accomplish all this? Is it hoax? Is it magic?
Of course, I could never achieve it alone
I had oceans of help—why, in every time zone
There were octopi, cuttlefish, nautilus too
And squid by the thousands who knew what do do.
From the deepest of depths, from the shallowest shoals,
From around the equator and close to the poles,
From every far corner of all seven seas
Came crawlers and swimmers, as quick as you please,
From cuttlefish cubby or octopus den,
To each lend a hand, or perhaps eight or ten.
The skies and the seas were both darker than soot;
No safe place for tentacle, feeler, or foot—
Was it safe for the journey? I had to think twice,
But a wise old molluscan proposed this advice:
“You know, you should hitch up some firefly squid”
So, not being stupid, that’s just what I did—
(In the darkest of depths, when I could not find any,
I used the much larger Taningia danae).
With a glow that left headlights in sad obsolescence
We lit our own way with our bioluminescence.
(And once (but just once) when we plain lost our bearings
We got back on track with the help of some herrings.
On Cephalopodmas, good nature prevails—
Even giant squid know they can trust the sperm whales—
And whether you’re predator, whether you’re prey,
You can take the day off. Hey, it’s only one day.)
And with luminous squidlings providing the light,
The Onycotuthidae took us to flight!
(It’s a myth that a reindeer can fly, as you know
But true that some squid can, as others can glow!)
So we flew, over trees, over hills, over mountains,
(Keeping moist by, sometimes, flying low over fountains)
We flew over deserts, with sagebrush and cactus;
Some day we’ll invade, so it’s really good practice.
And each place we flew, and the others we crawled,
We left little gifts, that surprised and enthralled
All the good boys and girls, and their parents and pets
(Why should some folks miss out on what other folks gets?)
An octopus, crawling up pipes from the sewers,
Might leave a small gift, say, a bottle of Dewars.
For those who do not have a liking for whiskey,
Perhaps lingerie (although nothing too risky);
If the oysters cooperate, maybe some pearls
For the fancy tongue-piercings of good boys and girls.
If we think we’ve been spotted, then quick as a wink,
We are gone—what remains is a black cloud of ink,
(But when it’s so dark you can’t see where you’re going
Then ink is no good—so a cloud that is glowing--
A trick taught by Heteroteuthis dispar)
So it shows where you were, when you no longer are,
And predators, peepers, or unwilling hosts
See nothing—or see what might well have been ghosts.
They know they’ve seen something, but what? They won’t swear.
By that time, of course, we are long gone from there.
You can see from the picture that, once, we were caught
By some kittehs, who said “U R not who we thot.”
But we gave the poor kittehs a soft little pat,
‘Cos we knew we were safe—who’d believe a dumb cat?
Then back to the oceans, for seafood and beer,
Saying Merry Cephalopodmas, and Happy New Year!
Valdissime Excitatissimus"Felicem Cephalopodimissam!"
"Happy Cephalopodmas!"
Excitatissimus"Ecce Tribadoidia!"
"Look! EEKiness!"
Beatissimus"Felicem Pridie Cephalopodimissam!"
"Happy Cephalopodmas Eve!"
Excitatus"Mega Man 10 Veniet!"
"Mega Man 10 Is Coming!"
Excitatus"Sciagraphia Diei Veneris!"
"Sketch Friday!"
Beatus"PZ Dicit de Rebus e The Onion!"
"PZ Talks about Stuff from The Onion!"
Excitatus"Duae Micuruae Voluptati Tuae"
"Two Mikurus for Your Pleasure"
shanejayell posted this great picture: Beatus"Nova Derivativa Verba Latina, Pars Sexagesima Sexta"
"New Latin Derivatives, Part Sixty-Six"
Excitatissimus"Cephalopodimissa Veniet!"
"Cephalopodmas Is Coming!"
May your days be filled with terror and tentacles!
Don't forget! Cephalopodmas falls on December 22nd by the human calendar! Get your special squamous someone something fetid!
Beatus"Nova Iuncta Verba Latina, Pars Septingentesima Quinta Decima"
"New Latin Compounds, Part Seven Hundred Fifteen"
Excitatus"Excellens Lusus!"
"An Excellent Game!"
Desipiens"Nova Iuncta Verba Latina, Pars Septingentesima Quarta Decima"
"New Latin Compounds, Part Seven Hundred Fourteen"
Beatus"Hic Octopus Animal Iocosum Est!"
"This Octopus Is a Funny Critter!"
Excitatus"Quinque Horis"
"In Five Hours"
Excitatissimus"Basiatio Incipere Debet!"
"Kissing Should Begin!"
Desipiens"Miles Fortunae / Feles Domestica"
"Soldier of Fortune / House Cat"
Desipiens"Sicut Guenevera Dixit..."
"As Jennifer Said..."
Beatus"Praefecta Urbi Tribadoides!"
"An EEKY Mayor!"
Excitatus"Vivamus..."
"Let Us Live..."
Beatus"Lingua Latina apud Future Shop Iterum!"
"Latin at Future Shop Again!"
Beatus"Feles Est!"
"It's a Kitty!"
Adhuc Laborantissimus"Novem Horis..."
"In Nine Hours..."
Desipiens"Sententia Graeca Iocosa"
"Funny Greek Sentence"
Fessus"De Probationibus"
"About the Exams"
Laborantissimus"Nunc Est (Adhuc) Studendum!"
"Now I (Still) Have to Study!"
Laborantissimus"Studialia Iterum!"
"Studyfest Again!"
Contemplativus"De Litteris Electronicis apud UNB"
"About Email at UNB"
Beatus"Nova Derivativa Verba Latina, Pars Sexagesima Quinta"
"New Latin Derivatives, Part Sixty-Five"
Beatus"Imago cum Principissis Urani et Neptuni a Gina!"
"An Images with Princesses Uranus and Neptune by Gina!"
Desipiens"Respondum Omni Theologiae"
"An Answer to All Theology"
Desipiens"Argumentum ad Tinkerbellam!"
"Argument from Tinkerbell"
Ridillans"Signum Iocosum!"
"Funny Sign!"
Desipiens"Orgasmi Omnibus!"
"Orgasms For Everyone!"
Beatus"Hieronymus Coyne vs Michael Shermer"
"Jerry Coyne vs Michael Shermer"
Desipiens"Si Kyaa Felidominus Est, Inde Habere Felem Debet!"
"If Kyaa Is the Catlord, Then He Ought to Have a Kitty!"
Beatus"Usus Bonus Felis!"
"A Good Use of a Cat!"
Beatus"Quid Est Naturale? Quid Est Artificiale?"
"What Is Natural? What Is Artificial?"
